open after

it wasn't the way you blinked your eyes before laughter
it was the way you opened them after
they always seemed more sad
as if you realized nothing at no time in no place
could possibly make you laugh in precisely the same way

you would open your eyes
and the spark of light would shine
still brightly
but tinged with a more serious edge

it had something to do
also
with the slight furrowing of your brow

for an instant
the space above your nose would converge
holding back something unseen

and so it's you I think of now
as the laughter dies
on an exhalation
followed by a deep inhalation

it's you because your after-laughter-eyes
haunt me
taunt me
with a morsel of knowledge at which
I cannot even begin to grasp

so keep it up
you
your creasing brow
the withholding
the keeping yourself out of reach
I cannot understand you
and your laughter's aftermath

yet?